Mom or Entrepreneur - You Don't Have to Choose

I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Pemo Theodore for a conversation about what it is like to start a company while also raising kids.  Pemo is doing so much to bring attention to gender issues in Venture Capital and entrepreneurship, particularly in technology, that when she asked if I would be willing to do an interview, I did not hesitate.  (The video is embedded below.)

As one of very few female CEOs in tech, getting and keeping women in entrepreneurship and technology is an issue near and dear to my heart.  I certainly do not have all the answers, but I do believe that, if girls have more role models telling them it can be done – that they do not have to give up having children in order to become powerful business women – we can start to “change the ratio,” as Pemo so aptly touts.

But isn’t it hard to be both an excellent mom and an excellent entrepreneur?  Absolutely! But doing both is not twice as hard as doing one or the other.  Here’s why.

If you are the type of [insane] person crazy enough to start a company, you are likely a very driven, highly motivated, super-charged self-starting overachiever who cannot sit still for a single second anyway - type of person.  If you are not up until 4am working on your startup, you will be up until 4am painting stained-glass windows on the fondant-covered graham cracker church, atop your four-year-old’s cityscape birthday cake.  (No, I never did that…ok, maybe.)

The point is, entrepreneurs and super-moms are cut from the same cloth.  If your company is not successful, it will almost never, barring extenuating circumstances, be because you have kids.  It is an oversimplification, I know, but if you want to start a company, do it!  Or, at least don’t let having children be the reason you don’t.  

As I point out in my interview with Pemo, making it work is about being willing to change the model. Erase the lines and redraw them to create a company culture that works for you – and other parents. Just because we immediately get images of four 20-something white guys in a garage when someone says “tech startup” does not mean that that is the only model that can work.  

Whatever you do, do not be your own worst enemy and convince yourself it cannot work before you even get started.  Be creative – intelligently creative - about how and when to get things done and you will likely find that, with some adjustments, you are not working all that much harder than you would be as "just" an entrepreneur or "just" a mom.

 

 

Comments

[Jennifer Toney]

@Juliana - Thanks! You are absolutely right. The clock tends to be our worst enemy, but it doesn't have to be so. I will admit to this, though - when the boys ask "What superpower do you want, Mama?" I invariably say, "The ability to stop time."

@Kerri - "...I didn't have kids to have trophies." Too funny. I love it.

[Kerri Salls]

Well said. I've been an entrepreneur since 1988 because I didn't want to make that either/or choice. I wanted to build a company on my terms and be Mom because I didn't have kids to have trophies.

[Juliana Carnes-Clegg]

Nicely put, and so true. As a mom and COO of a very "hard" engineering company, I share your view that it's largely about making the clock work for you, rather than being a slave to anyone else's ideas of core hours... or indeed startup type.

Congrats on your success thus far.